Guides, Sex (Toy) Ed

Choosing Your First Sex Toy

If you’re trying to choose your first sex toy and you’re feeling overwhelmed, this guide is for you! The following primer is designed to give you a quick overview of the types of toys available, help you decide what’s right for you, as well as provide some great body-safe toy suggestions.

NOTE: This guide is designed for people with a vulva and a vagina. It is the first a series of that will include guides for penis toys well as butt play for beginners. Stay tuned!

Deciding What Kind of Stimulation You Want

The first thing you need to decide when looking for a toy is what part of your body you want to stimulate. Most people with a clit need to stimulate it in order to have an orgasm. So if that is how you usually get off, you should try a clit-stimulating vibrator. If your goal is to buy a vibrator for a reliable way to bring yourself to orgasm, clit toys are often the way to go.

If you like penetration, you so have many choices. If you’d like to thrust a toy, choose a dildo or an internal vibrator. If you want to stimulate your g-spot specifically during penetration, plenty of dildos and vibrators are designed for just that.

You can also combine g-spot and clitoral stimulation with a single toy using a dual-stimulator.

Types of Toys

Below you’ll find a description of each type of toy, who should choose it, and high-quality, body-safe recommended toys to consider.

Classic Vibrators

classic vibrator
Classic Vibrator

Classic vibrators feature a straight shaft and adjustable speed. Classic vibrators are usually made of abs plastic and are inexpensive. Many manufacturers have abandoned the classic vibrator in favor of the g-spot vibrator.

Choose a classic vibrator if you want to get an idea of what vibrators have to offer without investing more than a few dollars. These aren’t the most impressive vibrators on the market but they’ll help you decide if sex toys are for you.

Recommended Classic Vibrators:

G-Spot Vibrators

Theses vibes feature a bulbous upturned head designed to vibrate the g-spot. They have become quite common and have largely replaced the classic vibrator. Their broad heads that curve toward the body allow them to double as excellent clitoral vibrators as well.

Choose a g-spot vibrator if you like your g-spot stimulated or if you want to try to have a g-spot orgasm for the first time.

Recommended G-Spot Vibrators:

  • Sola Cue: This beloved vibrator is a powerful and rumbly option under $70, making it one of the best values out there.
  • We-Vibe Rave: We-Vibe’s best selling g-spot vibrator can connect to their app for hands-free or couple’s play.
  • Jopen Key Comet II: This vibrator has a sharp curve and a bulbous head tailor-made for g-spoting.

Clitoral Vibrators and Stimulators

Bullet Vibrators
Three bullet vibrators
Bullet Vibrators from We-Vibe, Tantus, and Rocks-Off

Bullet Vibrators are small clitoral vibrators that offer pinpoint targeted vibration. Most bullets are less than 4 inches long and a 1/2 inch in diameter. Their small size and simple design make them very discrete.

Choose a bullet if you want to stimulate the clitoris only without vibrating the rest of the vulva. Their small size is ideal for those who want to use a vibrator on their clitoris during vaginal sex.

Recommended Bullets:

  • Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal: This bullet is the perfect combo of rumbly and powerful vibrations and affordability at just $32.
  • We-Vibe Tango: This vibrator is an essential vibe to a lot of sex toy collectors. Its vibrations go from a gentle rumble to mind-bogglingly powerful vibrations.
  • Femme Fun Ultra Bullet: This silicone bullet is great for those who would like to try vibrators with patterns because this one has 17.
The Doxy 3 Die Cast Mini Wand Vibrator
A Mini Wand Vibrator by Doxy

Wands are some of the strongest vibrators on the market because many of them are wired, giving them more power than battery-operated toys. The vibrator that originated this category is the Magic Wand (formerly known as the Hitachi Magic Wand) and it’s still one of the most popular sex toys on the market. Today, you can find a wand to fit anyone’s needs from plug-in wands to rechargeable ones to minis.

Choose a wand if you want ultra-powerful vibrations that will vibrate more of your vulva than just your clitoris. The broad tops of wands stimulate a large area and allow for pressure against the clitoris if desired. Large wands can also be used as body massagers, as that was their initial intended use.

Recommended Wands:

  • The Magic Wand Plus: This is the wand that started it all. It’s recently been updated to feature a body-safe silicone head and better speed controls.
  • Doxy Die-Cast: This Britsh import features an all-metal body, a silicone head, and a boatload of rumbly power.
  • Le Wand Petite: This slimmed-down wand is one of the most elegant toys you can buy. Its smaller rechargeable design is suitable for those who don’t want to deal with cords. It’s less powerful than the larger wands but some people think that’s a good thing.
Air Pulse/ Suction Toys
Satisfyer and Womanizer Clitoral Air Pulse Toys
Air Pulse Clitoral Stimulators: Satisfyer Pro 2 and Womanizer Premium

Air Pulse toys feel like a sucking sensation on the clit that some compare to oral sex. It’s an intense targeted type of stimulation that’s different from other toys that employ vibration or oscillation. The Womanizer is responsible for popularizing this technology. Because they quickly became popular when they were released, many companies now make similar toys, giving the consumer a wealth of options.

Choose an air pulse toy if you want targeted suction-like stimulation or if you’ve heard about the Womanizer or Satisfyer and would like see what all of the fuss is about.

Suggested Air Pulse Toys

  • Womanizer Premium: this new offering from Womanizer is a truly premium sex toy with its soft-touch coating, elegant design, and smart new features. It’s my favorite toy in this category.
  • Womanizer Liberty: it’s the travel size Womanizer at a nicer price. The reviews are in and it’s good.
  • Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation: This toy is the value version of the Womanizer. It’s a great option for budget shoppers because it gets the job done for less.

Thrusters and Pulsators

A Thrusting Sex Toy
The Thrusters Jackie Self-Thrusting Toy

Thrusting toys feature a mechanism that propels them in and out of the vagina so that you don’t have to do it manually or rely on a partner. There aren’t tons of thrusting toys on the market but there have been several exciting recent releases.

Choose these toys if you like the feeling of a dildo thrusting in your vagina but wish you didn’t have to do all of the work yourself or can’t because of mobility limitations.

Recommended Thrusting Toys

  • Fun Factory’s Stronic Line: these pulsating toys were completely unique when they were released. They use weighted magnets to move the toy back and forward. It’s an experience that you don’t want to miss. Check out my review of the Stronic Drei (aka Stronic Three) here.
  • The Velvet Thrusters Jackie: This toy is the most powerful handheld thrusting machine available moving at up to 140 thrusts per minute. The realistic dildo portion is coated in velvety silicone.
  • Zalo Sweet Magic: This thruster has a smooth texture and a luxurious gilded design. Its technology is similar to the Stronic toys as it gyrates back and forth rather than mechanically thrusting.


A  rabbit dual-stimulator vibrator
We-Vibe Nova Dual-Stimulator (Rabbit) Vibrator

You might know dual-stimulators as “rabbit” vibrators. That’s a reference to the vibrator that put this style on the map, Vibratex’s Rabbit Habit. All of the vibrators on the market with a little rabbit-shaped clitoral stimulator are derivative of this particular vibe. It’s so ubiquitous that my own first introduction to vibrators was seeing the Rabbit Habit featured on Sex and the City in 1998.

More generally, dual-stimulators are vibrators that have a vibrating dildo portion for internal stimulation along with an attached clitoral vibrator. Generally, it’s best to avoid these vibrators as a first toy. That’s because the distance between the clitoris and the vagina is slightly different for everyone but a rabbit vibrator usually requires the toy to line up with your clitoris just right. Many people end up frustrated when they buy a dual-stimulator and find out it doesn’t quite fit them.

Suggested Dual-Stimulators:

  • We-Vibe Nova– at this time, the only dual stimulator that I recommend for beginners is the Nova because the flexible clitoral arm fits a wide variety of bodies. That flexibility also allows the user to thrust the toy without ever losing contact with the clitoris. Its powerful vibrations, quality build, and ingenious design make it a winner.


a neon green Blush Neo Elite Dildo
A Standard Suction Cup Dildo: Blush Novelties’ Neo Elite

Dildos are used for penetration. There are so many dildos to choose from in both realistic (penis-referential) and non-realistic options. Body-Safe material options include silicone, metal, glass, stone, and wood.

Choose a dildo if you’d like to experience a penetrative toy, whether thrusted by hand or with a partner in a strap-on harness.

Recommended Dildos:

  • Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Silicone Dildo: this whimsical silicone dildo is a good example of a non-realistic option. Instead of thrusting it, try turning it to “screw” it in and out of the vagina for a unique sensation.
  • NS Novelties Colours Soft: it’s a smallish realistic silicone dildo that comes in bright colors. The soft density makes it very comfortable.
  • Spartacus Blown: this handmade glass dildo features a realistic look and texture. Run warm or cold water over it before use for some temperature play.

G-spot Dildos

Stainless steel njoy pure wand dildo
The popular Njoy Pure Wand is an essential G-spot dildo

G-Spot Dildos are just like traditional dildos but they have a gentle curve to target the g-spot. They’re available in every kind of material and are sold at every price-point.

Choose a g-spot dildo if you would like try dildo play that provides g-spot stimulation.

Recommended G-Spot Dildos:

  • Vixen Creation VixSkin Mustang: this is a dual-density silicone dildo with a soft exterior and a firm inner core. The result is a wonderfully comfortable dildo with a realistic look and feel. This is my favorite dildo of all time.
  • Uberrime Splendid (Medium Size): this is another dual-density dildo. Its slightly firmer head and wider girth make it an even better g-spotter. You can find my review here.
  • Tantus Sport: This petite dildo is great for those who need firm pressure when stimulating their g-spot.

Vibrating Dildos

a mini vibrating dildo
A mini vibrating dildo

Vibrating dildos are less common than some other sex toys. They have the look of a realistic dildo but with a vibrator inside, making them quite versatile. Many of those available aren’t body-safe, so be sure to verify that the one you choose is coated in 100% silicone.

Choose a vibrating dildo if you’d like a vibrator that doubles as a dildo or if you want something that you can thrust while it vibrates.

Recommended Vibrating Dildos:

  • Tantus Sam O2: this girthy vibrating dildo is realistic both in its look and in its texture thanks to its dual-density soft-but-firm silicone.
  • BMS Factory Naked Addiction Vibrating & Rotating Dildo: This is the most versatile and impressive body-safe vibrating dildo I’ve encountered. The waterproof design and suction cup allow you to use it hands-free in the shower if you’d like.
  • Lovehoney Uprize: This vibrating dildo goes from flaccid to erect with the press of a button. It includes a suction cup, a remote and can be used with a harness.

Kegel Balls and Love Eggs

Kegel Balls
Kegel Balls by Lovehoney
lovense lush bluetooth vibrating love egg
The Lovense Lush Bluetooth-enabled vibrating love egg

Kegel Balls strengthen the pelvic floor to prevent incontinence and improve orgasms. They work by forcing you to grasp them with your vaginal muscles so that they won’t fall out of your vagina. Over time, this exercise should improve vaginal muscle tone. Some kegel balls have smaller inner balls inside them that roll around when you move, creating a fun vibrating sensation. Tug on its retrieval cord to remove. Vibrating Love Eggs are internal vibrators that are worn inside the vagina and feature a retrieval cord, just like kegel balls. They usually have remote or connect to an app for control, making them effective couples toys.

Choose kegel balls if you want to strengthen the vagina to prevent issues related to loss of muscle tone in advanced age or after childbirth. Choose love eggs if you want internal stimulation that can be done discreetly, including in public places, or if you would like your partner to be able to control your vibrator.

Recommended Kegel Balls and Love Eggs:

  • Fun Factory Smartballs Duo Kegel Exerciser: a silicone coated option that features grating internal weights for a vibrating effect.
  • Lelo Luna Beads: features two sets of weights that can be paired or used solo for a fully customizable experience. As your muscles get stronger, you can add more weight.
  • Lovense Lush 2: An app-controlled vibrating love egg designed to stimulate the g-spot. The toy can be controlled by the app from anywhere in the world, making it perfect for long-distance couple’s play.

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